Risky play

No. 26

I was wrong. I had originally thought that H505H had fallen victim to exhaustion. However, she looks a lot healthier two days after.

Today, we’re making some giant scales ; at least that’s what they look like to me. Her moves are energetic and supple.

We get back to our scheme. I decide I’m ready to try until the very last second. I stop moving, she understands immediately.

We stand in front of each other holding the half-finished scale into place. Playing with the few seconds before we get an inactivity warning. The moment where we can focus on everything around us, when we’re no longer endlessly moving. In my mind, time is in slow-motion, details are overwhelming, everything is heightened. I can clearly sense where we are. I can imagine how everything else looks based on what I am seeing. I zoom out of the picture ; I can reach the center, travel with the music through the main door. I can jump outside, where I am met by the void. Space loses all its familiarity, I fall head first and upside down, from the moon, to distorted matter moving around me.

I can’t move on my own. But I have to come back. Under my feet, I can visualize the lines, angles, axes. I can see the instant where the universe collapses against itself.

I got carried away by the movement, into the event horizon. I might not escape. I need to come back to “reality”, I have to keep doing this: Piling boxes, fixing plates, replacing others, pretending I don’t mind…They can only help necessary people. We don’t have enough resources.
If I’m not necessary, they’ll send me into the unknown. They’ll give place to my imagination.

What brings me back.

Something will bring me back.
“…2,1”
I can feel myself falling. Is it too late ?

But I am met with a hard ground.
My vision is blurred and everything around me is swirling.
A pair of arms brings me back up almost immediately. I’m handed a plate, forced to fold it again with my bare hands and to send it back again.
I am worried. I left for a moment…My thoughts had been restricted for so long, that it this was almost like a liberation. I want to get lost again, to go over the barrier that constantly stoped me from thinking beyond these gray walls.

I look at the people around me with a different eye. Every traits of characters I gave them, every backstory I created…Everything disappears as I stare at them in confusion.

I am surrounded by strangers,
with empty faces, and empty hearts
unknown purposes, and unknown intensions
They might as well have been paper figures,
Walking shadows, an illusion, I wouldn’t know

I feel the power shifting. So far I was only an observer, unaffected by anything. And now, I can feel the rising threat of the unknown.
Is anyone here like me, can anyone understand me ?
This sentiment can’t mean anything good…I am starting to lose my rationality (?).

Back to the game.
H505H, pushed me. She moved first. I win.