Feelings but not quite 

No. 27

Today, while we were working, a message appeared on my screen. F202F : 

“Lately both of my worlds have collided, and I am trapped in this state : half-awaken, half-asleep.
Or maybe it’s not even half, maybe it’s nothing, maybe it’s everything.
I’m just attempting some poetry,
a deep commentary on our society.
I’m only someone — no one really — with a lot to say but little time,
and little impact.
I am a human on a planet. Insignificant in the universe.
Will you care about what I have to say ?
I wish I had captivating arguments, I wish I was experienced enough to speak of other things than “I”.
Why even tell my story ?
If you’re here, outside, reading this,
Chances are you already have a reason strong enough not to believe in what’s coming. 
Chances are no one will even make it. Who knows ?
Someone from the future, I suppose. 
Not yet, but “soon enough” as they say.
I don’t believe in anything that hasn’t yet happened.
For I am crazy but rational. Full of slumber and wokeness.
Free from dangers but trapped in my body. A body that doesn’t go to sleep anymore.
What am I?
A mind or a body.
Maybe I am one, maybe I am both, maybe I am nothing.
Even that I still don’t know,
Might have had more if the world didn’t blow up,
I could have been something,
everything. “You can be everything you dream to be”.
AND IF I DON’T DREAM ANYMORE
if i don’t know whether I am alive or in another world
How is this a reality and not a dream?
WHO’s fault is it?
I’m sorry this doesn’t mean anything.
“I’m sorry” : this doesn’t mean anything.
To me at least.”

A poem… 
I see some arms straighten, some bodies shift, but in an instant they all go back to what they were doing. 

No one has ever shared anything that personal with everyone. Maybe it is only an accident? 

And there were no immediate consequences. 

I was the first time I ever heard directly from someone’s emotions. I felt sympathy, even empathy maybe. Now I wanted to hear more from others. My own assumptions no longer satisfy me. I need a confirmation. I could go on about thinking of others but I would know that none of that is real. 

If only this could happen again…there was someone in particular I was curious about. Someone who might or might not share the same feelings as me. Someone who believes in the power of their imagination, a trapped spirit.